Hi, I’m Murray. I make a big fucking mess everywhere and don’t ever tidy it up. Also, I have a poorly balanced diet consisting of bread, meat and E-numbers, and as a result my farts smell like a wet dog rolled in a rotting bird corpse.
Also, I have several phrases and jokes that I use over and over and over. These include:
SOMEONE: “But that’s [insert adjective here].”
MURRAY: “You’re [insert same adjective here].”
SOMEONE: “Have you done [insert important thing here] yet?”
MURRAY: ” Ssshhhh!”
And of course, nobody’s favourite:
SOMEONE: “Let’s play poker…”
MURRAY: “Okay!” *pokes nearest girl*